


Stupid & Cupid

by foxfordcomma



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Meddling, Sokka and Toph are the OG Kataang shippers, also these two cuss like sailors, littleshit!Sokka, littleshit!Toph, squint and its Tokka, sweeties gonna sweet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:28:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27625412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxfordcomma/pseuds/foxfordcomma
Summary: “Hey, I just calls ‘em like I see’s ‘em. Face it, Sokka… those two are endgame—Besides, you’re the romantic here, you should know it better than I do that… they…” Toph made a fake gagging noise, feeling entirely unsettled by the sentiment she was about to express, “...belong together.”“Feels pretty oogie don’t it?”“So oogie.”“They do though, don’t they?She just looked at him, a slightly sad smile turning up the corners of her mouth.“I really hope they don’t fuck this up.”“Oh they absolutely will.”--OR--Sokka and Toph wanna see Aang and Katara happy, honest, they do. They also want to win the bet.
Relationships: Aang & Katara & Sokka & Toph, Aang & Sokka (Avatar), Aang & Toph Beifong, Aang/Katara (Avatar), Katara & Sokka (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Katara, Toph Beifong & Sokka
Comments: 3
Kudos: 29





	1. Lieutenant Optimism & Lady Tits Beifong make a bet

**Author's Note:**

> I promise when I started writing this I wanted it to just be a one shot. (I wrote chapter 3 first). But then I realized there were so many other scenes worth adding and dynamics worth playing with... so here we are and it's looking like it'll be six chapters. 
> 
> You know the comic "Love is a Battlefield," from the Lost Adventures? Yeah... I hate that comic. I feel like it is exactly the opposite of the supplemental material that was needed to flush out the loose bit of Kataang's relationship between black sun/ ember island players/ the finale. So this is my attempt at getting to the bottom of why Aang and Katara acted the way they did in that comic and how it all eventually worked out in the end. Also this is a shameless excuse to write some Sokka + Toph banter. Two birds, meet one stone. Pleasure's all mine. 
> 
> This first chapter takes place sometime between "The Runaway" and "The Puppetmaster," while the gaang is still 'splorin the Fire Nation on their way to Chameleon Bay.

“Katara and Aang are starting to give me the oogies.” Sokka sheathed his freshly polished boomerang as he approached the blind earthbender and fixed a wary side eye on his sister and the avatar, whose waterbending practice had quickly turned into a game of hide and splash. 

“Starting?” Toph snorted, planting her feet firmly and cocking one ear toward the ripples of laughter coming from the pair playing on the beach. “They’ve been gross since the day I met ‘em. Also, ‘oogies’… the fuck kind of word is that?”

“Hey, I just calls ‘em like I sees ‘em. You’re really telling me that those two dancing around each other all puppy-dog eyed all the time doesn’t make you feel… all…oogie?”

“I am saying ‘oogie’ is a dumbass word that only a dumbass like you would come up with.”

“You flatter me, Toph. I AM pretty damn inventive, aren’t I?” Though he knew it was coming, Sokka still wasn’t quick enough to flinch away from her fist as it connected squarely with his shoulder. “Ow! Always with the violence from you.”

“Oh toughen up you big baby, that wasn’t even that hard.” She quirked a mischievous grin at him and pulled her fist back again, making as if to inflict the same show of affection on his other shoulder, but feeling him flinch away bodily was satisfaction enough, so she lowered her fist and just chuckled at him. “You do have a point though. I’m getting pretty sick and tired of the whole ‘will-they-won’t-they’ thing. We all know those two have the hots for each other; they're going to just keep dancing around it until one of them pulls their heads out their ass and does something about it.”

“Woah woah woah! That is NOT what I’m saying! That’s my baby sister. Nobody is allowed to ‘have the hots’ for her,” he shuddered. “I just want them to stop being so… ugh… oogie?! Shut up it’s a great word.”

“Hey, I just calls ‘em like I see’s ‘em. Face it, Sokka… those two are endgame—Besides, you’re the romantic here, you should know it better than I do that… they…” Toph made a fake gagging noise, feeling entirely unsettled by the sentiment she was about to express, “...belong together.”

“Feels pretty oogie don’t it?”

“So oogie.” 

“They do though, don’t they? 

She just looked at him, a slightly sad smile turning up the corners of her mouth. 

“I really hope they don’t fuck this up.”

“Oh they absolutely will.”

Sokka rolled his eyes. “... do you know what I like about you the most, Toph?”

“You mean aside from my tits?”

“Wh—I… spirits Toph, must you ruin everything?” 

Her grin was as cheesy as she could possibly muster, she could feel the subtle uptick in his heart rate. Making Sokka squirm was one of her favorite pastimes. “I must.”

“I was GOING to say your unflinching optimism…”

“Eh, that’s probably like number four on the LONG list of my best attributes. Frankly I’m disappointed, I thought you knew me better than that Snoozles.”

“You’re right, you’re right… my actual favorite thing about you is your humility. Truly astounding.”

“That’s more like it.” 

“So anyway… before I was SO rudely derailed by the humble Lady Tits Beifong over here…”

“Oof. Leave the nicknames to me, bud.”

“...we were talking about how Aang and Katara are apparently going to fuck this up?”

“Oh for sure. He’s going to do something impulsive and she’s going to overthink it and it’ll only get worse before it gets better.”

“No way! I have more faith in them than that. I think they’ll figure things out. They’re big into talking and feelings and stuff, right? I’m sure eventually the, erm, conversion will… happen… of course, then we’ll have a new oogie to deal with but at least they’ll be less…”

“Infuriatingly oblivious?”

“Yeah, that.”

“Well that'd sure be swell, Lieutenant Optimism… would you like the Firelord to willingly surrender while we’re at it? I’m telling ya, Mr. and Mrs. Skinnydip over there are going to fuck things up.”

“Spirits Toph, mental images… little sister… what part of ‘oogies’ don’t you understand!? Were you raised in a locker room or something?”

“More or less.”

“I walked right into that one.”

“Yes you did.”

“Okay… I’ll make you a bet. One month. Those two will either sort their shit out, or totally fuck it up. My money is on the former.”

“I will take that bet. And I will take your money when the inevitable happens.” 

“It’s not gonna.”

“One problem…Do you actually HAVE any money for me to take?”

“Uhm—I think I still have a few yuans stashed somewhere…” 

“Pretty sure you used every last cent when you bought Hawky that hat the other day.”

“Toph we are at WAR. It is imperative that every member of this team be protected.”

“Sokka, Hawky ain't coming back.”

“And whose fault is that? Besides, not like you’re madam moneybags or anything either, oh disinherited one.”

“Hey, asshat. Nicknames. MY territory.”

“Yeah yeah, sorry.”

“One more rule...”

“Hmm?”

“No meddling.”

“Shit.”


	2. Sir Sappy & Sifu Stony discuss hormone monsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Toph Beifong, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’ve gone soft on me.”
> 
> “I’m just a spectacular friend, is all.”
> 
> “And modest too.”
> 
> “Modest too. I want them to be happy and they aren’t and I’m annoyed about it. Not to mention, its just going to royally fuck us all over when Avatar Airhead has to fight the Firelord for reals but he can’t bear to waterbend because it reminds him of Suger Queen, or some shit like that.”
> 
> “That does sound like Aang.”
> 
> “Right? He’s so stupid sometimes. Love makes people stupid.”
> 
> \--OR--
> 
> There is nothing worse than seeing your two best friends hurting... nothing except, maybe, being pushed around by the word's greatest earthbender.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place during "The Firebending Masters," after Zuko and Aang have left for their date with the dragons.

“Welp, I was right, obviously.” Toph flicked at some dirt between her toes while Sokka watched Appa disappear over the horizon. Katara had excused herself from the group as soon as the two firebenders had said their goodbyes, citing some bogus excuse about chores that needed attending to. Toph could feel her though, she was pacing along the edge of a courtyard a few over from the one they had just seen Aang and Zuko off from, her eyes trained on the horizon, her feet ceaselessly carrying her in a nervous loop. 

“Huh? You mean about the dragons…?”

“No stupid, about Princess Pouty and Guru Grumble-much.”

“Heh—nice one.”

“Thanks, I’ve been holding on to that one.”

“But yeah, I guess you probably were right. They seem so awkward all of the sudden. Never thought I’d miss the oogies.”

“They went and fucked it up. Idiots.” Toph dramatically hurled herself backwards, raising up a slab of rock to cushion her head as she lay flat on her back and groaned in irritation. 

“I thought this was what you wanted…?”

“No, of course not! I mean, I did win the bet, so that’s vindicating. But believe it or not, I want them to be happy. I think they’re kind of… sweet… together…”

Sokka chortled. The glare she shot him could have made a platypus-bear lay an egg. He quickly choked back his laughter. “Shutting up, I’m shutting up!”

“I KNEW this was going to happen, but I didn’t WANT it to happen. I’m so annoyed at those two.” She huffed and her bangs flew wildly around her face. 

“Toph Beifong, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’ve gone soft on me.”

A dangerously tall spike of rock shot up between his legs, just shy of causing harm. He yelped. Nope, not soft, never soft. 

“I’m just a spectacular friend, is all.” she lowered the spike with a nonchalant wave of her hand, acting as though nothing had happened, even though Sokka was pretty sure his stomach had squarely taken up residence in his throat.

“And modest too.” He grumbled, still very much on-edge.

“Modest too. I want them to be happy and they aren’t and I’m annoyed about it. Not to mention, its just going to royally fuck us all over when Avatar Airhead has to fight the Firelord for reals but he can’t bear to waterbend because it reminds him of Suger Queen, or some shit like that.”

“That does sound like Aang.”

“Right? He’s so stupid sometimes. Love makes people stupid.”

“I wouldn’t say that… love makes people… happy. It makes people strong, gives them something to fight for, to hold on to…”

“Who's going soft now? Hmm?”

“Hey, I never claimed to be anything to the contrary. I’m a sap and I’m damn proud of it.”

“Fair enough Sir Sappy, what do you think we should do about them?”

“I thought we said no meddling?”

“Yeah yeah, no meddling. Investigating though? I don’t recall any sort of rule about that, do you?”

“Hmm… I can’t say that I do.”

“You don’t say! That is fascinating...” she feigned pensiveness. “I wonder which one of them pulled the dumbass move that messed it all up…”

“Oh, it’s got to be Katara. She puts on the nurturing and emotional front well for others but when it comes to her own emotions, she’s a total mess. That girl keeps her feelings as tightly bottled as her bending water. Not sure what happened, but knowing her, she probably bit Aang’s head off at the slightest threat of vulnerability.” He got a far-away look in his eyes. “And being yelled at by Katara? Not something that one easily recovers from. Trust me, I have more than enough experience.”

“No… my money is on Aang. He’s been particularly flighty lately, avoiding and evading and all that airbender bullshit. Plus his heartbeat has been doing the camelephant strut every time Katara so much as breathes in his general direction. But see… so has hers; if she were just trying to close herself off to feelings, I think her heartbeat would feel different. It feels more… confused? conflicted? I don’t know how to describe it but I’d wear shoes for a month if that boy didn’t do something stupid like kiss her out of the blue or something.”

“Honestly? I don’t think Aang has the balls. I love the guy but… I just can’t see him being the one to make the first move. I mean, especially with Katara… she’s his best friend. He wouldn’t want to ruin that by kissing her, right?”

“Is this some sort of brotherly protective thing or are you really that dense? You know, for a teenage boy, you’re pretty shitty at reading teenage boys. All-powerful bender and bridge between worlds or not, Aang is like, 87% hormones right now. Hormones mean wanting to kiss girls, especially ones that you’re madly in love with. There is no thinking through how it’ll impact your friendship when you are a hormone monster, not to mention a hormone monster under insurmountable, responsible-for-saving-the-world levels of stress. It was Aang. I promise you.”

“Okay, okay… you might have a point about the… hormones. But I’m still not convinced that Katara isn’t at least partially at fault. You forget, Sifu Stony, she is a hormone monster too. Ugggh—the oogies are back.”

Toph chuckled at the disgusted groan that Sokka emitted. “Okay fine. So, we find out what happened and then begin phase three?”

“What’s phase three?”

“Couples counseling.”

Sokka pantomimed stroking a beard and affected his ‘Wang Fire’ voice. “I like the way you think master Beifong.” 

A light blush crept up Toph’s cheeks but she played it off by shoving Sokka so hard that he stumbled several feet and had to flail his arms around to regain his balance. She snorted. “Meathead.”

“What did we say about the violence, Toph?”

“Oh c’mon you should be flattered. That’s how I show affection, you know.”

“Hmm… I feel sorry for the poor sap that you actually fall in love with, spirits Beifong.” Sokka plopped himself down next to her on the stone, not wanting to risk having his balance so violently thwarted again by remaining standing. 

The blush was threatening to creep its way back up her cheeks, so Toph decided to change the subject. “So anyway… once we know what happened between our two favorite hormone monsters, we’ve got to get them to talk to each other… but it has to seem natural, you know? Maybe you and I should go on a field trip with Zuko next, leave them alone to sort things out.”

“That sounds… actually, that sounds like a really good idea.”

“Thanks! I sort of already thought of an excuse for us to leave, too. Hunting trip! We need more food soon anyway… might as well kill two sparrow-keets with one stone.”

“Man, you’ve really thought this thing through, haven’t you? You gunning for my job as official plan guy? Because I WILL fight you, greatest earthbender in the world or no.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t dare! Like I said, I’m just a spectacular friend.”

“Right... 'spectacular' is one word for it… you talk to Katara, I’ll talk to Aang. We regroup in a few days?”

“Deal.”

“Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic *may* have devolved a bit too far into an excuse to let Toph bully Sokka, so I threw in a good measure of Toph getting all ~feelingsy~ about Sokka to balance it out. The dynamic between these two is so so fun to write! I hope I did it justice. Let me know in the doobly-doo!


	3. Sifu Smoochy & the magical lie-detecting feet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He kissed you?” Toph’s voice was slightly too eager. /I knew it! Mama’s two for two against boomerang for brains!/ she managed to keep the thought to herself. 
> 
> “Uhm… yeah—on the submarine… before the invasion… he just—he kissed me.” Her voice was louder, more resolute, as she vocalized the truth for the second time since it had happened. 
> 
> “Did you… you know… like it?” Toph cringed, knowing how awkward the question sounded and honestly not totally wanting to know the answer… (can you say ‘oogie!?’)
> 
> \--OR--
> 
> Just some girl talk with two of the most powerful benders in the world. Can you say multi-faceted characters!? NB-freaking-D

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter and the following one take place while Sokka and Zuko are off being saved by some badass women at the Boiling Rock. Should've brought Toph with them tbh. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> This is a particularly short one and it was actually the first one I wrote for this series and is now kind of my least favorite? Oops? Katara & Toph are swell but significantly less fun to write than Sokka & Toph. Still, this is important for *plot* and whatnot. We love Katara in this household, I just haven't quite figured out how to write her as well, ya feel?
> 
> Enough from me! Get to reading, friendos.

“Soooo…” Toph threw herself down next to Katara who was bending the water out of a pile of freshly washed clothes in the courtyard of the western air temple, “you gonna tell me what the heck happened with you and Twinkletoes?”

Katara could have sworn that her heart stopped for a second, but she quickly tried to regain her composure, straightening the shocked look on her face (for her own sake, not for Toph’s) before rounding on the earthbender with a voice dripping in practiced innocent, “I’m sure I have no idea what you're talking about, Toph.”

Toph snorted. “Don’t bullshit me, sweetness. Magic lie-detecting feet, remember?” she waggled one of her (rather grimy considering Katara had just done her final healing session on them two days ago) feet in Katara’s face. “You two have been off and I wanna know why—start talking, girly.”

Katara huffed, blowing one of her hair loopies out of her face. Right… lie-detecting feet. Crap. “I… its—nothing… nothing happened Toph! We’re friends… and—and we’ve all been under a lot of stress and Aang has a lot on his mind and having Zuko around certainly hasn’t helped with that and I’m just trying to take care of all of you and…” Toph was giving her a blank, unamused expression, one finger digging in her ear while Katara rambled. 

“You done with the excuses?” she finally pulled her finger out of her ear and leaned toward the waterbender, sincerity coloring her usually (and, okay, still slightly) sarcastic tone. “C’mon Katara, be honest with yourself here. You’ve been distant with Aang ever since the invasion and it isn’t just because of the stress… news flash, we’ve all been pretty stressed this whole dang time. That didn’t stop you two from all the… uhh… oogie stuff before. Friends don’t just kiss eachother’s cheeks all willy-nilly the way that you do… trust me, I tried it once with your brother… it felt decidedly NOT platonic and I haven’t done that since because, like I said… oogie.”

“But Toph… wasn’t that Suki that you—”

“Doesn’t matter…” the earthbender interrupted, though her cheeks betrayed a slight pink tinge that, had Katara been looking at her and not picking nervously at a loose string in her skirt, would have been rather telling. “Regardless, you and Aang used to be so reliably… erm… united? And now you seem all weird and jumpy with each other and it's throwing off the whole dynamic around here.” She could feel Katara’s resigned posture, her shoulders slumping and brow furrowing. “Look, I’m just trying to help you. I think it’s good to talk things out, right? I… could borrow Sokka’s ‘Wang Fire’ beard if it helps?”

This elicited a chuckle from Katara, who finally looked back at Toph and exhaled shakily before, in a voice barely above a whisper, admitted: “Aang kissed me.”

“He kissed you?” Toph’s voice was slightly too eager. /I knew it! Mama’s two for two against boomerang for brains!/ she managed to keep the thought to herself. 

“Uhm… yeah—on the submarine… before the invasion… he just—he kissed me.” Her voice was louder, more resolute, as she vocalized the truth for the second time since it had happened. 

“Did you… you know… like it?” Toph cringed, knowing how awkward the question sounded and honestly not totally wanting to know the answer… (can you say ‘oogie!?’)

Katara didn’t think she was capable of blushing brighter than she did. Had Aang and Zuko not been off on some firebenders-only field trip, she’d have sworn that they were standing on either side of her, playing some prank on her, how else would her cheeks be capable of producing this much heat? (Though being quite honest, she was very very glad that Aang was NOT standing right next to her right now… blushing up a storm about him the way she was… but also… maybe a little tiny part of her was… less glad…? Kind of wishing for his calming presence, his calloused hand reassuringly gripping her shoulder, that subtle herbal smell that always surrounded him...) /Wow where did that come from?? Focus Katara!/ She shook her head a bit too forcefully, attempting to clear the fog from her brain and the heat from her face, but only managed to make herself feel dizzy. 

Toph’s lips tipped up ever so slightly, trying to reign in her laughter at Katara’s bumbling reaction. /Damn this girl has got it BAAAAADDD!/

“I… umm…”

“Don’t worry Sugar Queen, your heartbeat told me all I wanted to know.” Toph grinned at her mischievously, whatever blush had left Katara’s face quickly returned, as she realized her secret was very much out in the open now. “So… what are you going to do about it?”

“What do you mean what am I going to do about it? I think we have bigger fish to fry right now than mine and Aang’s uhm… feelings…”

“Hmm… I’m not sure Twinkletoes would agree with you on that one Katara. Just… talk to him or something? He’s all mopey and you’re all tense and I don’t think it’s really helping any of us get those proverbial fish fried, you know?”

“Yeah… I know. Okay fine, I’ll try to fix things… thanks Toph.”

“Anytime Sifu Smoochy.” Toph hopped up with a wry chuckle before Katara’s water whip could connect with her cheek.


End file.
